i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
