Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
