you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
