Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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