I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
