Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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