so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
