my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
4 words: hood of his car
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
COCAINE IS GR8
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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