The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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