You work out of a Hotel?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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