no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize