there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
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