my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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