Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
