You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
