I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
