so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
