Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
