Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
