i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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