? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
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