quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
