Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
