i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Randomize
