Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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