3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
