Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
