When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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