complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize