this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
