My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
