remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
