This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
