Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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