Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
