It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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