Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
she smelled like a LAN party
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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