U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
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