best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize
