okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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