I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
