Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize