Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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