once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
