What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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