If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
