Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
