I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
