I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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