I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
