More tranny stories later!
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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