Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
