you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
