so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
