Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
