have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
