I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Randomize