She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me