Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.