Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?