Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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