On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
