McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
two words: eviction party
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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