I hate all girls vehemently.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
mondays should just be called national damage control day
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
This is my life. Enjoy the view
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
