all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
