Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long

(917): View more from New York City

Thats what she said

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(352): View more from Florida

So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.

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(606): View more from Kentucky

how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(847): View more from Illinois

I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted

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(816): View more from Missouri

Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.

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(217): View more from Illinois

I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories

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(925): View more from California

My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.

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(409): View more from Texas

getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'

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