I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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