It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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